Top 10 Things Not to Say When Being Stopped for DUI

10. What are all those pretty lights back there? Is it Christmas?

9. Say my ABC’s backwards? Sure. But you go first and see who does it better.

8. Sho, you wancha shee my driverzh lishenj?

7. Could you please open the door for me? I can’t seem to find the handle.

6. Got any donuts?

5. Did you know that police cars contribute more to global warming than any other kind of car?

4. But officer, driving in a straight line is SOOOO boring!

3. Here . . . have a beer, officer.

2. No. You give me your driver’s license and registration.

And now for the number one thing not to say when being stopped for DUI:

1. You want me to close my eyes and touch my WHAT?

Lecture Number 97

And the LORD said to Job: “Shall a fault-finder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.”
Then Job answered the LORD: “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer thee? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.”
Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind: “Gird up your loins like a man; I will question you, and you declare to me . . .” Job 40:1-7
My wife and her sister claim that they catalogued their mother’s lectures. When she started in, they would look at each other, roll their eyes, and say, “Here comes lecture number 97!” Do you find yourself lecturing your children or students and wish you could stop it? Don't worry about it—lecturing is biblical.
In our scripture passage, we find Job answering God in the middle of a lecture that spans four chapters! In response to Job's demands, God has just spent 71 verses asking Job if he can do what God can. When confronted with the power of the Almighty, Job admits he has nothing to say. God, knowing that Job is in a “teachable” mood, continues for another 52 verses, hammering the point home.
God hasn't changed—He does the same to us today, teaching us His truth. He is the perfect parent, desiring that we not only accept the truth, but that we put it into practice, becoming more and more like His perfect Son, Jesus. So remember, if the same uncomfortable things keep happening to you, maybe it's just God trying to get your attention and give you “Lecture Number 97” again.

St. Valentine's Day!

I Corinthians 13: The best description of agape love there is. But let's not forget all the loves:

1) agape - unconditional love

2) phileo - friendship, based on common interests

3) eros - romantic or sensual love, based on how it makes you feel (works for both the opposite sex AND chocolate cake)

4) storge - motherly or parental affection, protective love

All of them have their place. I hope you enjoy all of them today!

The Light in the Window

2 Timothy 1:5, 13-14

I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.
What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you–guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

My mother’s parents lived behind us on our Indiana farm. At five o’clock every morning, I got up to do the morning chores: milk the cow, slop the hogs, and feed the chickens. And each morning, without fail, I saw my Grandma Miller’s lamp from her living room window as she read her Bible and prayed for two hours. What an example and inspiration to an impressionable teenager! Hers was not the only example I saw—my parents read the Bible and prayed with my brothers and me almost every day. They and others lived godly lives for us to see. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to mention all the good examples I had.

How about you? Who was your example? How did you learn about the love of Jesus? If not from your parents or grandparents, it may have been from a friend, coworker, roommate, or just someone you happened to see from time to time. It could even have been indirectly, like from a book, or a TV or radio program. Take time to thank God for the legacy you have been given. But don’t let it stop there—take every opportunity to pass it on yourself—to your children, your friends, those you work with, neighbors, social club, and those who just happen to cross your path.

The Bible says of God’s words, “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 11:19). Don’t let your legacy die. Pass it on.